Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Preacher Wanted: Must be Able to Walk on Water
I was perusing through ACU’s “Churches Looking for Ministers” page today, and I came across this job description:
“A new congregation seeks a dynamic full-time minister to come and minister to us. The church started in the Dallas area almost two years ago and now has 150 members. We are now at a point where we need a full-time minister to come and join the team. Qualifications: Professional leadership experience and success. Self-Starter. Visionary. Musical Ability. Technological ability. Strong and polished public presentation with a good public speaking voice. Willing to work under the direction and supervision of the leadership committee. Will have a track record of church growth. Theological Training: hold an advanced degree from a theological training institution. Have a good understanding of contemporary culture and be able to relate. Pastoral: have the ability to perform pastoral duties. Conservative theologically and believe that the Bible is the inspired and authoritative word of God and believe in the five steps of salvation. The candidate must not have any liberal leanings. Tradition: comfortable with Church of Christ traditions as well as early church tradition. Small Groups: support of relational small group ministries in the church. Bible Translation: must preach and teach from KVJ, ASV, NKJV, or NASB. KJV or ASV preferred. Additional Training: engage in ongoing training and learning. Knowledgeable of various religious issues. Have a Purpose-Driven ministry philosophy, strong prayer life and engage regularly in spiritual disciplines. Strong relational skills and work well with other people. Should not be success driven, but have a deep, abiding relationship with God that shows in his humility, thoughtfulness, and reflections. Marriage: It is strongly desired that the candidate should be happily married. Children: As per qualifications in 1 Tim 3, it is desired that the candidate have at least two children, or plan on having at least two children. Age: The candidate should be between 30 - 40 years of age. Please send your resume.”
Wow! I wonder if the guy has to walk on water as well? And here’s the irony – the name of this church . . . The Grace Church of Christ!