The Louder the Commercial, the Dumber They Think You Are

I have this theory about car ads on radio and TV. The louder and more obnoxious the advertisement, the dumber the dealer thinks his customers are. I now think that the same holds true for political campaign commercials.

When you hear about a commercial with a background of loud noises, and two announcers screaming phrases like "$99 down, $99 a month" over and over, or when you hear announcers screaming idiotic, mindless phrases like "All credit applications accepted", you know that you are listening to a commercial for a relatively inexpensive car, the type of car generally purchased on credit by someone at the lower end of the economic scale. Take the high-end cars like Mercedes or BMW. You will never hear commercials for these automobiles delivered in a screaming, obnoxious fashion. Why not? Because the dealers know that the type of person who has worked hard enough to afford a decent car is going to be turned off by a commercial that screams at them.

That brings us to Kerry’s recent speeches and ads. It is clear from the shrillness, the loudness, and the fraudulent claims that the Kerry camp is working overtime to appeal to the less intelligent voters out there. Case in point? The recent idiocy over those "missing" explosives in Iraq. This was going to be the blockbuster story that sent the Bush campaign reeling into the ropes the day before the election. What a scenario! The International Atomic Energy Agency warns Bush that there are 380 tons of explosives in one particular facility in Iraq. Now we learn that the explosives are gone! They've disappeared! Bush didn't guard those explosives! After he got that warning from the IAEA he let those explosives disappear! What a mess! Can't this guy do anything right?

Let’s do a little reality check. Democrats, the next few minutes will be painful for you! When the 82nd Airborne arrived at the site to secure the 380 tons of explosives, they were not there. Gone. Vanished. The explosives were removed before the first American boots hit Iraqi sand. Saddam left about 1,000,000 tons of weapons when he ran to his spider hole. We have destroyed about 500,000 tons. The 380 tons that are "missing" constitute 0.38% of the weapons Saddam had, and 0.76% of the weapons that coalition forces have already disposed of. So, we have two realities here. First, the amount of explosives we're talking about is small - less than one coffee bean in a one pound bag. Second, the only way George Bush could have secured these weapons was to step up his invasion plans and move in to Iraq before he did. Is that what Kerry is suggesting he should have done?

As soon as the New York Times ran its story the Kerry campaign produced a television ad. Here's the script:
"The obligation of the Commander in Chief is to keep our country safe. In Iraq George Bush has overextended our troops and now failed to secure 380 tons of deadly explosives, the kinds used for attacks in Iraq and for terrorist bombings. His Iraq misjudgments put our soldiers at risk and make our country less secure, and all he offers is more of the same."

There you go. That's Kerry's $99 down, $99 a month moment. He knows his ad is an insult to anyone with a modicum of intelligence. He also is fully aware that at this point in the election the voters he is most likely to sway are those who are uninformed and those incapable of being informed. In other words, the ignorant. So if you like being lied to, manipulated, insulted, condescended to, and having your intelligence insulted, go ahead and vote for Kerry!