Yesterday was the first Sunday of Advent - just four weeks till Christmas! So now let's turn our attention to Festivus. This holiday was born on an episode of Seinfeld (funniest show ever) called "The Strike." Kramer and Frank Costanza are talking, and the following conversation takes place:
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!
The celebration of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. It consists of lashing out at others about the many ways they have disappointed you over the past year. So, in honor of Festivus, let's gather around the aluminum pole, and air our grievances. Let it all out! I want to know what bugs you!
I'll go first. I spend a lot of time on the highways of Dallas. WHAT'S UP WITH PEOPLE WHO DRIVE SLOW IN THE LEFT LANE? When I come up behind someone driving 60 mph in the left lane on LBJ freeway, my blood pressure reaches stroke levels! It doesn't matter what the speed limit is - there is always someone driving faster than you. It's not your job to slow them down. You are required, by state law, to get out of the way! There are signs everywhere that say, "LEFT LANE FOR PASSING ONLY." Left lane blockers with their smarmy, selfish, inconsiderate, I can do what I want attitude force people to pass on the right. This is dangerous and gets people killed. MOVE OVER!
Okay, who's next?
43 comments:
Oh, let me be the first!! I agree with you about slow people in the left lane! And what about those who don't move over to the shoulder and let those of us who really know how to drive pass them? Or what about just SLOW people in general! UGH!! I can't stand stupid or arrogant people! Justin has a shirt that says "You can't be UGLY and STUPID, you have to pick one". Unfortunatly, there are people that are just plain ugly and stupid!! And what about mean people?? Why do people get off by being mean? How? Why do people gossip and tell lies about other people? Do you NOT have anything better to do than try to lower someone's self esteem just to raise yours???? Gimme a Break! And, one more thing...the toilet paper is to come over the top of the roll, not from underneath. GET IT RIGHT! :-)
HAVE A GREAT MONDAY!!
You ARE required to obey state Law...of 60 MPH....do not see very many Police writing tickets for failure to change lanes, but I know plenty of people who get speeding tickets......What about sqeezing toothpaste from the middle??????Big G
My biggest gripe this year has been related to inconsiderate drivers also. In Forney we have lots more traffic and lots more smart aleck new members to the community that have no respect for the rules or for the older people that have been driving on these roads for most of their lives. The speed limit is 55 but if I drive down 1641 at that rate I’ll be tailgated by a string of high powered sports cars chatting on their "I" phones and threatening to overpower my 8 year old minivan. Specifically the most unnerving situation is at the railroad tracks this side of Highway 80...It is a two lane road and we have many impatient, arrogant drivers that insist on passing someone on the right shoulder of the road at high speeds because the car in front has the nerve to turn left and they don’t want to follow the rules and wait their turn (no one saw fit to add left hand turn lanes when Wal-Mart came in). I can't name the number of times I go to turn left at the same time the opposite traffic has a left turner and find some impatient, generation XYZ person going the opposite direction, passing on the right shoulder of the road, and barreling toward my car (and Lydia's car seat) as I head left into town. I say go to Dallas and annoy the other speeding drivers on LBJ that have no respect for the rules.
Wow, that feels good saying that publicly after months of complaining! Great Idea!
I'm glad to give everybody the opportunity to air their grievances.
Jenn - The best bumper sticker ever - "Mean People Suck." And yes, tp from the bottom of the roll is uncivilized!
Big G - Do you have any actual grievances, or are you just going to critique mine? It's wrong to block the left lane regardless of speed limits - PERIOD. Stop being a legalist about it, and use some common sense.
Kerrie - Those roads are crazy. It takes forever to get to Walmart! This place is growing so fast - big city life has collided with farm infrastructure - not pretty!
People who don't sign their name when they leave comments on blogs!!!!!!!!!
Big g- but I like squeezing from the middle of the tube! Its how I "air my grievances" and its a lot more accommodating than a person's neck.
LOL
Big G - I owe you an apology - you did air a grievance. Sorry.
My compliant is mostly about complaints. Visit this link and get a better understanding:
http://www.heli-shots.com/Itshardtocomehome.pdf
Kerrie - I am one of those that have probably passed you on the right, the law says I can as long as I can do so safely. I'm going to have to claim legalism on that subject. Sorry.
Big G - FYI Texas State Troopers are conducting a campaign to ticket drivers who stay in the left lane in "left lane for passing ONLY" zones. Regardless of speed.
Enjoy your festivous. Just a suggestion - squeeze from the bottom.
Steve,
Not on the shoulder of the road...into oncoming traffic turning left with no stop lights, across a set of railroad tracks, not a safe situation.
My grievance is Big G's constant griping about everything said by Charles.
Robert Mugabe still being in power.
Oh yeah, and the toilet paper thing.
Kerrie are talking left shoulder?
Now that would be ignorant. I'm talking the right shoulder.
OK, Since you have invited an "Airing of the Grievences," here goes!
I can not agree with the TP thing... who cares if it has to follow a clockwise or counterclockwise rotation to dispense from the roll!!!
What I can not stand is when people (at work) allow it to stream off the roll and touch the ground. I think I have to automatically discard at least two feet of the roll before I consider the roll sanitary! Beyond that, I hate public restrooms!
One last thing... is there any news going on beside the election? Not according to CNN or FOX News... Oh, how I love election years!
Eight days and a wakeup...
Steve,
Oh I knew I should have kept my mouth shut:( Its difficult for me to explain. Basically we have 1 lane each way with an intersection that has no stop lights but depends on yeilding. People can't turn left safely because in both directions someone is usually borrowing the right shoulder of the road and speeding across the intersection right into the oncoming traffic that is trying to turn left. They do not have the right away because they are not in a lane of traffic they are only borrowing the shoulder because they don't want to wait in line. It never fails that when it is somewhat safe to turn left (usually when the opposite traffic also has a left turner)someone decides they don't have to wait and out of nowhere they come headed right for the passenger side of the car. Ouch! Clear as mud? Lol!
Yeah - the fact that Robert Mugabe is running a country is a major grievance! I understand Kerrie - I have to drive that intersection. It's a really weird setup Steve.
Sounds like it. That's when driving habits from third world countries and shop made bumpers come into play.
He with the biggest bumper wins.
Have fun and becareful out there.
I'm not a TP type of person. Wet wipes are the only sanitary way to go. My gripe is, not enough people use wet wipes and so I'm forced to use TP on my sensitive bottom.
Something else I just can stand are those people who think their Macs are better than the PC! Tiger, Leopard, whatever, is it an operating system or a trip to the zoo?
How arrogant...
Brian,
Ok, Tommy is peaking over my shoulder and said "Tell Brian that is WAY too much information!"
P.S. We know what to get you for Christmas...
Mark-
How many viruses did you have to deal with today?
Apple? 0.
'nuf said....
I thought the speed limits were 65 and 70. Am I wrong?? Of course, it doesn't matter cause I'm gonna still go over the speed limit. Why?? Cause that's the way I am.
I squeeze the tube from the middle cause I don't have to answer to anyone else in my house. I can do it just cause I want to!
Bill, I agree. Big G thinks he is so smug by signing his name as "Big G" and not actually telling us who he is.
Ryan and Charles, thank you for agreeing with me about the tp!
Mark, the tp is much easier to dispense when coming over the top. Try it! And yes, I hate public restrooms too! I have to dispose of atleast 2 feet of tp also! GROSS!
Brian, that is way too much info!
It's so nice to be able to be so honest on here!
Charles and Holly...WE ROCK, OTHER PEOPLE SUCK!! (UNLESS YOU ARE A NICE PERSON THEN YOU CAN ROCK TOO) :)
Thanks Jenn! We do rock. And while I'm bragging - come on Mark! You know that Macs win. Always one step ahead. That's a funny observation though, and you calling me "arrogant" has not gone unnoticed!!! And Brian - thanks for elevating the conversation. We haven't discussed butt slapping in so long!
While we are discussing Macs and PCs I find the latest wave of Mac vs PC commercials to be lame and downright unfunny. They used to be so good. What happened?
P.S. My Sony with Vista has been the lowest maintenance m,achine I have ever owned.
In defense of Big G I had a thought. Technically he did not log in as anonymous but Big G. Guess he is not anonymous anymore?
Kerrie you are too nice. But I don't agree with you.
Allowing "big g" to float around as an anonymous player in the ongoing conversation harms the credibility of any blog.
As a newspaper publisher I feel strongly in the well-worn saying of our industry: "I may not agree with a single word you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
I think the given fact that goes unspoken in that saying is that the person speaking needs to make it clear to others who he / she is.
If big g posted on my blog I'd zap every post he left. Even if the subject was toilet paper.
... and gee whiz Brian, thanks. I'll never touch another wet wipe again and that's a real sacrifice on my part because I've got a grandkid on the way.
Ok Bill, point taken and thanks for your honesty/advice!
BTW...I'm not too nice, just very aware of my own mistakes/shortcomings/sin which allows me the benefit of the doubt I tend to give others:) The downside to this practice is getting "burned" too often when I use poor judgement in extending that trust.
Grandkid??
Yes! A grandkid!!!
:-)
Amy and Jeff got to hear the heartbeat yesterday.
It's either going to be a Jackson or a Jefferson or a Hadley or an Elizabeth. And either way I'm going to spoil it rotten and I guess it it will always have a dirty bottom because now (thanks to Brian) we can't use Wet Wipes.
... but (no pun intended) I can promise you my grandkid will be raised a Mac user.
Wow Bill. That's wonderful! You must be so excited. Imagine the cool Macs and iPhones and iPods they'll have in 10 - 15 years? I drool at what will be on William's Christmas list in 2017!
I have another grievance I'd like to air - Car Dealerships! I took my car in for an oil change and new wiper blades today - 3 hours later I was still in the waiting room!!! They said something about a software glitch. What?? I bet it was a PC.
I figured the MAC comments would draw some spears.
Really, I am waiting for this old PC to die so I can have an excuse to go MAC shopping.
Charles,
I can't imagine that we will need iPhones, Macs, and iPods in the future. I figure it will be one single device, something like an iPhone that wirlessly connects with a keyboard and your 50 inch tv or whatever monitor is available.
Actually, it is really hard for me to complain too much. God has truely blessed my life as of late. Really, I should only be thankful right now.
Mark
Mark, I think we all need to be thankful of our blessings! I wish y'all the very best in your move!
It seems we all have so much to be thankful for! I know that I have much more than I deserve!!! But . . . Thanksgiving was 2 weeks ago - it's Festivus now, and we're airing grievances!
Ok so my latest big complaint is needing a break from my 7 days a week 24 hours a day mutitasking job. No end in site and its worse in the winter with everyone sick. Yes I am thankful for many reasons to be able to stay home with my 3 children but as Charles said, this post is officially the complaint department and I feel like a hamster on one of those exercise wheels that can't get off. Gimme a break!!
Charles, what a great idea! My grievance is about silent suffering. I say if you are suffering, then moan and groan about it - make a lot of noise! Silent suffering sucks!
PS. Agreed: Brian (aka Brain) gave us too much information. Another grievance: would like to see more sensitivity at the other end of his body....
PSS. How about following this subject up with 'gratefulness'?
Dr Bill
I'm sure Brian is smart, but I refuse to call him "brain."
Wade Hodges came up with a great idea for the Garnett CofC - he's thinking of having "open mike Sunday" where anyone can air their grievances before the whole church - provided the person who has disappointed them/offended them is in the audience! Should I do this at Kaufman? What do you think Bill??? It could really be cleansing.
... ah, NO. I do NOT think it is a good idea.
Maybe instead we could have everybody write out their grievances, seal them in an envelope and we could have a big "grievance burning." And then we could all stand and sing that Eagles song, "Get Over It."
Yes, I like that idea - that's more cleansing!
Work grieves me... work in general, the whole concept of it...when I get to heaven, I want to find Adam, smack him upside his head and say, "Thanks alot!"
Really, I don't know if it's work or the bosses at work. If you have ever worked for a "Michael Scott" or a "Bill Lumbergh" then you know what I mean.
You know, if they would have an open mike Sunday at BH I would actually go back for that Sunday. I think I would have a lot of fun!!
Charles, don't you think we've moaned and groaned enough? Lets get on to something more positive!!
I'm thinking about it!
Let me clarify - I'm thinking how much fun an open mike night would be at BH, and I'm thinking about a more positive post!
NOTE:
I have deleted the last few comments (including my own) not because I have anything to hide or I want to censor comments, but because, given the number of readers, I want this blog to be a place where we discuss IDEAS - even controversial ideas. I don't want this to become a place where any one congregation gets criticized, where my personal life gets put on display based on half truths, and where tender emotions can turn into anger. If anyone would like to discuss more personal matter with me, please send me an email to: charles@kaufmanchurch.org
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