Sunday, December 02, 2007
The Airing of Grievances
Yesterday was the first Sunday of Advent - just four weeks till Christmas! So now let's turn our attention to Festivus. This holiday was born on an episode of Seinfeld (funniest show ever) called "The Strike." Kramer and Frank Costanza are talking, and the following conversation takes place:
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!
The celebration of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. It consists of lashing out at others about the many ways they have disappointed you over the past year. So, in honor of Festivus, let's gather around the aluminum pole, and air our grievances. Let it all out! I want to know what bugs you!
I'll go first. I spend a lot of time on the highways of Dallas. WHAT'S UP WITH PEOPLE WHO DRIVE SLOW IN THE LEFT LANE? When I come up behind someone driving 60 mph in the left lane on LBJ freeway, my blood pressure reaches stroke levels! It doesn't matter what the speed limit is - there is always someone driving faster than you. It's not your job to slow them down. You are required, by state law, to get out of the way! There are signs everywhere that say, "LEFT LANE FOR PASSING ONLY." Left lane blockers with their smarmy, selfish, inconsiderate, I can do what I want attitude force people to pass on the right. This is dangerous and gets people killed. MOVE OVER!
Okay, who's next?